I'm a big believer in putting things off. In fact, I even put off procrastinating. [Think again. It's not what you think it says... Ed.]Tolerance will reach such a level that intelligent people will be banned from thinking so as to not offend the imbeciles. Fyodor Dostoyevski, Russian author
My wife caught me on the bathroom scales, sucking in my stomach.
“That’s not going to help!” she chided me.
“It sure does! It’s the only way I can see the numbers.”