If you hit it right: it's a slice.If you hit it left: it's a hook.
If you hit it straigth: it's a miracle.
“There are several ways," he said shyly, "in which I'm trying to improve myself. I have a great many books and records and now I'm learning to play golf. Do you know golf, Sister? The English think it's a very serious game. I was going to learn a much more serious game called cricket, but you need twenty two people...” Rumer Godden, Black Narcissus
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.