We celebrate Australia Day this week (ok, we do it with a Bunnings Sausage Sizzle - what could be more Australian?) Here are some irreverent contributions: Instructions for foreign tourists: If an Aussie tells you "it's just down the road", it can be anything from a couple of minutes to a couple of miles, or a three day trip from Katherine to Adelaide via The Alice. "It's just down the road, mate!" "Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that is a recent development". Barry Humphries Australians are a funny lot, you’ll often hear one curse, How things have started badly, and they’ll probably get worse, The weather's dry, the sun’s so hot it’s stolen all the water, The Government has never done the things we think they oughta’. (First verse of 'Smithy's Australia Day', a well written, irreverent poem. Well worth reading the full poem: click here.) |